I decided to use Chantix. It blocks the receptors in your brain that nicotine attaches to. I tried smoking on the first day, but it didn't do any good. So I just stopped. There's still anxiety and all that, but hadn't been so bad...until yesterday. I had a melt down yesterday. Totally. I was a disaster at work, Steve got home from a week away and I was a mess. I was evil. The Chantix hasn't built up in my system long enough yet. They recommend that you smoke through the first week of smoking to let it build up...I didn't, and by day 5, I was about crazy. My poor students...my poor fiance...
I bawled, I screamed, I broke stuff, I couldn't breathe, I bawled again, I screamed again, I broke more stuff, I couldn't breathe again, and that was only in the first 10 seconds. I had some SERIOUS mood swings going on.
So, when Steve walked through the door after being gone all week and said, "Hi, honey," I started bawling and said, "WHY CAN'T I EVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT FOR YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!" and stormed out of the house.
He didn't know what hit him. Poor guy. He's trying to quit too. I'm going to drive him to drink!
Tito is kind of my knight in shining armor too. He's always there to cuddle, snuggle, and give me lovin' even when I'm not doing so well. I love my puppy.
I KNOW you can't wait for my next installment!
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